My Prayer Life Stinks

If you’ve ever felt like your prayer life is a mess (or non-existent), you’re not alone. Many faithful Catholics—yes, even saints—have gone through times where they felt spiritually dry, empty, or frustrated. Maybe you find yourself distracted when you sit down to pray or read scripture. Maybe you’re so busy that prayer gets pushed to the margins of your day and ends up being dropped from your mental to-do list. Or maybe you show up but feel nothing but silence.

First, stop beating yourself up. This happens to everyone.

Instead, let’s look at some common reasons you think your prayer life stinks and how Scripture and the Church can help get you through it.

Spiritual Dryness

One of the most discouraging parts of prayer is when it feels like you’re talking to the ceiling or the sky instead of God. This spiritual dryness isn’t new. Even the Psalms are filled with cries like:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? (Psalm 13:1)

Feelings of dryness in prayer happen for different reasons. Sometimes it’s caused by our sin or lukewarmness. Other times, God allows it as a way to purify our hearts and teach us to love Him for who He is rather than what we can get from Him or the feelings we get. St. John of the Cross famously called this the dark night of the soul, where the soul learns to cling to God in faith rather than emotions.

One of the beautiful aspects of the Catholic faith is that it’s not based on feelings. Sure, many saints experienced visions and ecstasy when praying, but that’s rare. When we receive the Eucharist or get absolution in confession, we might not feel anything, but we trust that God is there and honors his promises to give us the grace we need.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us:

Dryness belongs to contemplative prayer when the heart is separated from God, with no taste for thoughts, memories, and feelings, even spiritual ones. This is the moment of sheer faith clinging faithfully to Jesus in his agony and in his tomb. “CCC 2731)

If you feel dryness like this, know that it doesn’t mean you’re failing at prayer or a bad Catholic. In fact, persevering when it’s hard may be the most pleasing prayer you ever offer to God.

I’m Too Distracted

This happens all the time for me. I make a point to pray the rosary, and my mind starts wandering. So many random thoughts pop into my head, like what I’m going to have for dinner, what I should’ve said in that meeting, or what I have to do when I’m done. Before long, I realize that I’ve been everywhere but with God.

If this sounds like you, again, you’re not alone. Even the great St. Thérèse of Lisieux said that she struggled with distractions during prayer. The Catechism talks about this, too:

To set about hunting down distractions would be to fall into their trap, when all that is necessary is to turn back to our heart, for a distraction reveals to us what we are attached to. (CCC 2729)

Instead of chastising yourself or falling into despair, use these distractions as a tool. If your mind keeps going back to a worry or a task, bring that to the Lord. Turn it into prayer. “Lord, I’m anxious about this meeting. Be with me in it.”

Every time you gently redirect your heart back to God, you’re training yourself in patience and humility.

Jesus himself warned us that prayer requires vigilance.

Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)

Distractions show where we’re weak, but also give us a chance to grow in watchfulness.

I Don’t Have Time to Pray

I get it; we’re all busy. Modern life throws a lot at us every day. Between work, family responsibilities, and endless notifications from our phones, prayer can feel like the one thing that always gets squeezed out.

And the truth is that if we don’t make time for prayer, we won’t pray. Jesus is clear here:

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. (Matthew 6:33)

The Catechism also acknowledges how real this struggle is.

The most common yet most hidden temptation is our lack of faith. It is expressed less by declared incredulity than by our actual preferences. When we begin to pray, a thousand labors or cares thought to be urgent vie for our priority; once again, it is the moment of truth for the heart: what is real love? (CCC 2732)

The good news is that this problem is easy to tackle. You have to start small.

Pray a Morning Offering when you wake up. Say a Hail Mary while commuting.

Do you poop? There’s no reason you can bang out the Lord’s Prayer while you’re there. It might sound weird, but trust me, God doesn’t care where you call him from; he just wants to hear from you.

The point is that there are many times throughout the day when you can stop for a few seconds and pray to God.

Don’t think you have to start by trying to pray like a monk. You’ll fail, just like if you’re out of shape and tried to run a marathon.

Starting small and praying wherever you can throughout the day will open your heart to God and give you the training you need to go further when you’re ready.

St. Paul tells us to pray without ceasing, and this is a fantastic way to get started.

Also, as prayer becomes an integral part of your day, you’ll be more likely to keep it up and reap the spiritual benefits.

Stop Comparing Your Prayer Life to Others

Sometimes, what makes us feel like failures in prayer isn’t dryness, distractions, or busyness; it’s comparison. Maybe you know people who pray the rosary every day, or spend an hour in adoration. Or maybe you know a monk who prays the Liturgy of the Hours. This can all make you feel like a spiritual lightweight or, at worst, a bad Catholic.

Here’s the thing: God isn’t asking you to be someone else. He’s asking you to be faithful with what you can give. Remember the poor widow in the Gospel:

This poor widow has put in more than all of them; for they all contributed out of their abundance, but she, out of her poverty, put in all the living that she had. (Luke 21:3-4)

God treasures the five minutes you give Him at the end of an exhausting day (or when you’re on the commode) than a polished hour of prayer when life is easy.

Remember that prayer isn’t about performance. It’s about a relationship.

God Doesn’t Answer Me

Finally, many people stop praying or feel like their prayer life stinks because they feel like it doesn’t work. They asked for something, didn’t get it, and now wonder if God even hears them.

We’re all guilty of treating prayer like a vending machine, where we put in a request and get what we want, including myself.

The Catechism says:

Filial trust is tested—it proves itself—in tribulation. The principal difficulty concerns the prayer of petition, for oneself or for others in intercession. Some even stop praying because they think their petition is not heard. Here, two questions should be asked: Why do we think our petition has not been heard? How is our prayer heard? How is it efficacious? (CCC 2734)

God always hears. He always responds, but sometimes in ways we don’t want or expect. The point of prayer is not to bend God’s will to ours, but to unite our hearts to his.

Also, have you ever had a friend or family member who only contacts you when they want something? Frustrating, right?

That’s not saying you should never ask God for things, but don’t make that the only time you ever speak to him.

The bottom line is that prayer is showing up. If you feel like your prayer life stinks, don’t despair. Dryness, distractions, busyness, comparison, and disappointment are all part of the faith journey. What matters most isn’t how eloquent or consistent your prayer seems, but that you keep showing up before God.

Your Heavenly Father sees. He knows your struggles, your weaknesses, and your efforts. And he delights in every prayer you offer—even the messy ones.

God bless!